The Curse of the A

While I’m not new to the writing world, I am new to the blogging world, and the unknown, amongst other things, has always made me nervous. I regularly catch myself wishing that I had a type B personality, that new endeavors like this one made me relax instead of want to jump off a cliff. But alas, I am my father’s daughter, and by nature I must plan, investigate, and inevitably worry. There was a time when I fought this, when I tried to pretend that I wasn’t what Wikipedia describes as “ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status conscious, and impatient” (desirable traits, no?). “Reflective, enjoyable and unstressed” sounded a whole lot more appealing. But forcing myself to be more relaxed just made me more anxious, so I did what any frustrated, defeated twenty-six-year-old would do: I surrendered.

My name is Kara Overton, and I have a type A personality.

I worry, I overthink, I overanalyze (I already told you, this blog is a prescription). I plan until I’ve murdered every ounce of spontaneity and I color everything black and white to avoid the complicated, ambivalent hue we call gray. My pursuit of perfection frequently leaves me tired and stressed, and I work persistently – and often fruitlessly – to understand life’s idiosyncrasies, particularly people.

Recently, I’ve discovered that same analytical look in my ten-month-old daughter’s eyes as she silently surveys the people around her, eyebrows delved inward, lost in the puzzle that I know is her brain. Oh, how I wish I could reassure her that it’s okay for the puzzle to be left undone today, tomorrow, and maybe forever. But as I know from experience, it will do no good. She will continue to think, worry, question and strive for unattainable answers.

This is the curse of the A and it will haunt her for the rest of her life.

But.

She will grow up knowing what she wants, and she will work her tail off to get it. She will push forward tirelessly, relentlessly to achieve her dreams, doubters and naysayers serving only as annoying roadblocks. When she says she’s going to do something, she will do it with purpose, drive and vision. She will lose sleep at night trying to solve the puzzle, but she will have enough wisdom and perspective to know that it’s more about acquiring the pieces than about assembling them into a perfect picture anyway.

My name is Kara Overton, and I have a type A personality.

So does my daughter.

Together, with the help of all you others out there blessed with the curse of the A, we get things done.

A Curse

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