Hot Mess

Thoughts I had on my way to work this morning:


I should start drinking coffee.

Don’t forget groceries after school.

Molly’s nearly potty trained. I need another baby.

Why is my scalp so itchy? Dear god, do I have lice?

Mean people suck. No more mean people. Purge the poison.

Our future home absolutely, positively must have an indoor swing.

Did I unplug the curling iron?

Last night Savannah used the word “impressive.” She’s basically a genius.

Mean people might be less mean if they had their own indoor swing.

What do beets taste like? We should plant some.

Research papers due today. FML.

I think I have lice.

Sinkholes are terrifying. Quit thinking about them.

Savannah’s almost four. I really need another baby.

My breath stinks.

I don’t need God. I have Glennon Melton and Taylor Swift.

Religion is confusing.

Geoff kind of looks like Mark Wahlberg, except not.

Who invented wine? I want to kiss them. On the mouth.

I will not procrastinate, I will not procrastinate, I will not procrastinate. Tomorrow.

If I had a pet snake I’d name him Donald Trump.

Am I too old for glittery nails?

Am I too young for magnesium?

I definitely have lice.


Being a human is hard.




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